Sometimes it takes a cartoonish American rock star to expose the fragility of the Canadian mindset. Gene Simmons strutted into the Great White North last week in all his hirsute, tongue-exposing glory and brashly declared that he would save the Canadian music business and provide a revolutionary path to international success for our artists. Isn't that sweet? It didn't seem to matter that Canadian music does not need his help, or that he offered no details for his rock 'n' roll New Deal, or that he is actually only relaunching a record label that has already failed once before. No. The major domestic media dutifully welcomed him with star billing, paparazzi photographs and celebrity-style interviews. Apparently we Canadians know our rules of behaviour: When an American pop icon comes to town looking to make a deal, we blissfully forego the content of his intentions and get all Sally Field about it. He likes us! He really likes us! So what if he's not very clear on what he's talking about?
Don't get me wrong. There are undeniable reasons to respect the larger-than-life KISS bassist, born Chaim Witz. He is a genial and boffo businessman who has turned a makeup-clad passable '70s pop-rock band - yes, KISS fans, despite some good tunage they've never exactly been Led Zeppelin - into an enduring, profitable touring act. Consider the ongoing industry of KISS products - and a hit Simmons reality TV show to boot - and you can only conclude that the fire-breather knows how to make a buck.
And so it is not surprising that Simmons would see Canadian music as prospective prey, and partner with Belinda Stronach in the process. (Just how many odd coalitions can this land entertain in one week?) And he didn't really seem to care that his primary investor was presiding over cuts to auto plants and 850 jobs in Ontario while the new venture was being announced. It's understandable. Looking for new opportunities is what Simmons does. But even by KISS standards, he had some audacity to cast himself as the new saviour of Canadian music in a country that is already (arguably) the most successful per capita exporter of music in the world.
"We're going to make sure that the next generation of world stars that emanate from Canada are at the top of the charts," Simmons told me when stopping into my program last week. He would ensure this by personally being involved in "every facet of the band's life and career" (he also intends to turn the signing of any Canadian bands to his label into a reality show). Ahem. Sounds tantalizing. When I pressed him (repeatedly) about the existing success of Canadian musicians, he responded that Gretzky, Jim Carrey and Mike Myers had needed to go to the States. "But they're not musicians," I responded. "I don't understand the point you're trying to make," he dryly replied.
The point is that I'm not entirely sure that Simmons has heard of Feist, Arcade Fire, Barenaked Ladies, Broken Social Scene or any number of Canadian acts that have built success in Canada through a strong and supportive infrastructure, a collective national musical legacy, and healthy government regulation (CanCon) before taking it to the rest of the world (not to mention those artists that I'm sure he has heard of: Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, Nelly Furtado, Celine Dion, Michael Bublé and so on). According to 2007 statistics, Canadian recording artists were the only music-makers to see a rise in sales in the United States (15%) last year, including Americans themselves. Our music culture is one of the things we unequivocally do well in this country.
But therein lies the nod to our own insecurities. Why didn't we collectively (and affectionately) run Simmons and his dazzling tongue out of the country last week for anointing himself our musical saviour? Why didn't we collectively roll our eyes and ask him what the hell he thinks he's talking about? Is it possible that at some level our ongoing inferiority complex still leads us to believe we need Gene Simmons to confirm our appeal?
Simmons told me towards end of our chat that Canadians will "only get the respect you demand." He makes a good case. Maybe we need to demand that we will survive without the kiss of Simmons Records.
Jian Ghomeshi is the host of Q on CBC Radio One at 10 a.m. and 10 p.m., Monday to Friday.
http://www.cbc.ca/q/
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